I’m very much afraid that (for this weekend at least) I’m going to have to admit defeat and release the embrace I’ve been having with the pale. I know, I know, I hate myself for being so weak too!

In my pitiful defence I’m attending an all ladies Tweetup on Friday night, and although I was intending to go down the Rimmel Sun Shimmer route I just know I’m going to be really busy and it won’t get done :S
At least with St Tropez I can do it tonight and thats it done for Friday. I won’t have to think about it again after that, which is ten times better because I suck at time managment (and getting ready for anything tbh.)

I know if I don’t do this that inevitably come half eight on Friday night, (when I’m still drying my hair and generally freaking out about being late) I’ll say screw it and go out in all my blue/white non-glory. I don’t want to be blue!!!!

Look at last weekend, I was out with friends (gloriously flippin TANNED friends) and in the pics I stuck out like a sore thumb. I want to be all tanned and all healthy and all glowy! Hrrrmphh

Now, I can’t speak for anyone other than my insecure self, but I always feel slimmer with a tan, and for a woman that is feeling like Two Ton Tessie at the minute, that’s just another of the many reasons why I’m going to coat myself in Orange Varnish.

Phew! Feel better now I’ve got that off my chest, not really a conversational post… think of it more like a Protestants take on the whole confession maja. I’m off to dabble in the dark side.

xox

Good Luck xox

If you follow me on Twitter, you may already have spotted that I’m a lot less “orange” these days

I took the decision around a fortnight ago to embrace the pale me, the “real” me, and lay off the fake tan for the forseeable. Yes I agree my timing isn’t great…. coming into the height of summer n all but its something I have been thinking about for a while, and now I’m doing it, it feels good

I’d really just had enough of the whole fake tan process, the orange bed sheets, the streaky hands and wrists, the un-natural colours and smells! I truly believe that no fake tan looks as good as a natural tan, but knowing the dangers I just wasn’t willing to use sunbeds, or sit out with a low factor on to inevitably burn and peel anyway (I’ve learnt that particular lesson this year, ouch my poor feet…)

One thing I’ll admit in regards to a tan is I did feel A LOT slimmer in the body & I guess look healthier…. but most of the time, I simply felt grubby and dirty looking as it wore off unevenly no matter how much exfoliating I did. To put it bluntly, I looked like shite and I see people every day who look the same, serving me in shops with their white hands and patchy orange arms, or orange necks and white faces. What on earth are we doing girls??

I’ve been scrubbing like a mad thing and I’m almost back to my natural skin colour barr a few stubborn patches. Already I feel cleaner, tidier and more classy. I also feel a bit more interesting, I’m able to experiment with different make-up and colours than the standard ones I’d gravitate towards with a tan.

As part of this new experiment I ordered some Dainty Doll Cosmetics by Nicola Roberts (the ghostly one from Girls Aloud) from ASOS. I remembered that she had released a line specifically for the fairer skinned peeps last summer. A lot of the range is vastly reduced, and so I picked up a Concealer, Eyeshadow and 2 Lip Glosses for £20. Not bad, but is it any good???

The packaging is undoubtly cute and kitsch on the exterior, its a bit more disappointing inside where the plain black packaging is simply imprinted with yellow/ gold blurry writing. It all feels a bit “cheap” and Oriflame esque….

The Concealer I bought was in Natural as I’m obviously not white in skintone, just pale. This is lovely, very light and moisturising, I’m not entirely sure this won’t move about and collect in my fine lines though, I’ll keep you posted.

The Eyeshadow is called Honey Bronze, the left side is actually an eyeshadow base/ primer and the shimmery brown eyeshadow is on the right. Its very silky and has a lovely veluxe pearl type finish to it, but the colour is similar to a lot of other shadows I own. It is flattering though and easy to wear.

I got two of the Lip Glosses (the only 2 colours I could see for sale), top one is Rosebud, and bottom Hibiscus. These are plumping glosses and therefore sting quite noticeably just after you apply. I can’t decide if I dig this or not. There is no noticeable taste from them good or bad and that gets a thumbs up from me. They don’t last very long though and I’ve had to reapply every half hour or so with Rosebud. I don’t really mind this though, although I know that would drive some people mad!

L-R; Honey Bronze, Hibiscus, Rosebud

Apologies for the picture quality but I can’t find my camera for the life of me!

To be honest this seems like a nice cruelty free range, but colour wise it would definitely only suit who it is designed for, fair skinned people. Funny that

The eyeshadow colour would be lost on any type of swarthy skin and the concealer would be WAY too light.

I’m a bit confused about the availability of the range…. is it being discontinued? Does anyone know? When I searched for it online I was directed to Jellypongpong, although they actually haven’t sold the range since February 2009. The products that I received from ASOS still carried the Jellypongpong labeling though, so I’m assuming they bought their remaining stock?

If anyone else tried the range I’d be particularly interested in knowing what the foundation is like.

xoxox

Its that time of the week again “tan time”. More specifically “fake tan time”. Joy.

This generally involves:

• Exfoliating (like the packaging says) to the point where I look like I’ve suffered one massive chinese burn
• Brain ache as I debate the pros and cons of all my tan products and try to pick a winner
• Latex gloves to apply (which itch and BURN)
• Twister style contortions to apply evenly everywhere
• Adding yet more tan stains to our towels
• Strange weird palm only hand washing

I hate it. I hate the process. I hate the smell. I hate the texture, and I hate that I wasn’t born a beautiful bronzed goddess. It’s simply not fair.

“Embrace your paleness” friends and family tell me.
So I do that, only to have those same people ask “Are you feeling ok?”, “You look a bit peaky”, “Where you out on the sauce last night”….. it’s endless. Basically I do not suit the natural colour of my own skin.

I recognise that there are those lovely English Rose pale people. The milky skinned Ann Hathaway’s among us, complete with perfect skin tone and bruise free legs and arms. Not a varicose vein in site! Cows

So I do what all us ill looking paleys do and buy lots of fake tan products, always with the hope and belief that this next one really will look “natural” and be a breeze to apply. If only that were true. I dread to think what money I waste on this alone each year.

This is my current stash.

And I do mean current, I literally binned another 5-7 bottles of stuff last week.
I actively use all of these, so I’ll give you a run down of the pro’s and con’s for both. Believe me, they ALL have cons!

L’Oreal Sublime Bronze Dry Mist Body & Face

Pros – Superb spray design. Full 360 capability. Dries quickly. One application gives a strong colour but my husband says it borders on jaundice….

Cons – Need to be in a well ventilated room as catches the throat, open windows and nakedness *brrr*, absolutely impossible to get perfect around the hands. Does not react well with moisturiser.

Dove Summer Glow Face & Body

Pro’s – Cheap as chips. Smells great, citrussy and fresh. Big bottle, great value for money. The facial tanner is particularly good in colour.

Con’s – Takes yonks to build up any good level of tan on the body and once you do its time to exfoliate. Greasy as hell.

No7′s Self Tan Range

Pro’s – All give a nice colour

Con’s – The foam smells unholy (but not quite as bad as Piz Buin)

He-Shi

Pro’s – Instantly tans, so is great for unplanned nights out. You can be brown at the drop of a hat. Gives a deep tan without any nasty fake tan smell. Practically odourless. You can see where you are applying it!

Con’s – Expensive. Must be kept away from water for FIVE hours after application. If it rains on you in that window of time you’ll look like a new breed of dalmation. It’s messy and requires a mitt, you need to work quickly and evenly.

St Tropez Everyday Face & Body

Pro’s – Not too pricey. Big tubes, good value for money. Smells quite nice. Gives a nice colour.

Con’s – Greasy and the fat squeezy tube is uncomfortable to work with. Stains badly around the wrists and hands. Takes too long to build a decent colour. Wears off unevenly.

St Tropez Auto Bronzant Lotion

Pro’s – Gives the best golden tan. Get a lot of product in the bottle. Easy operation pump. Colour lasts almost 1 week.

Con’s – Very pricey. Messy once applied, can only be done before bed IMO, otherwise you’ll have to go about looking like a mud wrestler. Stains bed sheets and pjs.

Rimmel Sun Shimmer Instant Tan

Pro’s – Super cheap and frequently on 3 for 2 offers. You can see where you are applying it. Good for short notice events/ nights out as gives instant colour. Mistakes easily rectified as it washes off immediately. Has a beautiful soft shimmer built in that looks fab and healthy.

Con’s – If it rains on you, this baby is gonna run, literally all down your legs/ arms/ face. You’ll look like one hot mess. Messy to apply, you’ll need a sponge or gloves. It will stain your dress/ clothes so you need to be very very careful its dry before dressing.

I truly believe that there isn’t a foolproof fake tan out there. Especially not in the “apply at home” range. Throughout the years I have significantly improved at applying fake tan, with St Tropez Lotion and I definitely getting on the best for an all over body tan. I also love their Spray version but I’m all out of that at present and using the rest of these up.

Face wise it would be the Dove Summer Glow one in Medium to Dark, I’ve been using this for months now and although my face would normally react to facial tanners it has no problems with this one.

I’ll always reach for my Sun Shimmer though, its just far too handy and I love the sparkle that comes with it. Ok, so its not really any good the 3/4 of the year that it rains here in Northern Ireland, but in the summer months its a staple tan product for me.

If you hold the key to the “Holy Grail” Self Tanner please be kind enough to share below

xox

Yesterday I went to my local Boots Chemist in search of the St Tropez Gradual Tanner.
I love this branch, its so odd, they always have random things discounted, normally by loads more than other shops. It’s very odd altogether but also great!

I ended up coming away with a couple of things, namely….

• St Tropez Everyday Gradual Tanner in Medium to Dark £13 – pleased to report it smells non offensive and was easy to apply. Will take a few applications for colour to build so will report back on this soon with a Yay or Nay.
• Prestige Loose Transluscent Powder £1.52 – this branch of Boots doesn’t even have a Prestige stand but they seem to get all the reduced items from other branches. Love this, gives a really smooth flawless finish on top of my liquid foundation.
• Prestige Dramatic Minerals Eyeshadow in 02 Copper £1.50 – What a find, this is a dupe for MAC’s All That Glitters with a more peach undertone rather than pink. Gorgeous finish.

L: MAC ATG R: Prestige Copper

• Dove’s Summer Glow Gradual Facial Tanner in Medium to Dark £2.99 – This is a re-purchase as my bottle has run out (I actually got this in the Alliance chemist down the road). This smells really good, very citrussy and fresh. I honestly can never smell the tan element from it, even as it develops. It gives a lovely colour without being overly dark and it doesn’t settle into my pores. I can’t use any of the body tanners like St Tropez on my face, I break out immediately but this has never irritated my skin. Highly recommend.

Definitely check out Prestige’s range of eyeshadows if you like MAC but you’re maybe wanting to tighten the purse strings, the formulation is really very good and this lasted 8 hours on my lids yesterday without creasing!

xoxox

Always best to post while the nightmare is still fresh…..

A darling work colleague recommended I try Piz Buin’s Gradual Self Tan, when I see her on Saturday I’m going to start by asking when it actually was that she lost her sense of smell……..

This fake tan smells horrendous.
As I applied it (roughly 40 mins ago) I was immediately assaulted by the pungent aroma, but I soldiered on, after all lets face it, most fake tan is a bit whiffy. Manys a time I’ve crawled into bed beside the hubby smelling like a packet of Jacob’s Digestives, although an unusual scent for the boudoir, biscuits are at least tasty.

This however spent the next ten minutes making me feel physically sick. I told myself off (as you do), stop being silly, you’ll soon fall asleep and be blissfully unaware that you’re lying plastered in the scent of baby sick and feet, and sure you’ll be all gorgeously tanned in the morning….. Didn’t work.
I had to admit defeat as I seriously started to experience very real nausea.

So at around 11.30pm I had to get back out of bed and scrub myself in the shower (a lot).
I am now safely back in bed doused in a generous dose of the lovely Avon Skin So Soft Dry Oil Body Spray, and trying to put the horror of Piz Buin to the back of my mind.

I’d suggest giving this one a wide berth…… it is offensive smelling to say the least

xo

Just before Christmas I picked up a couple of fake tanning products that were reduced in Boots (original post here), I’ve now had a chance to try all 3 of them and the firm winner for me is the Quick Dry Foam.

For some reason my little branch of Boots had this on clearance for £2.87, however it is still full price in the larger Boots in Belfast and online at £11.75 so all a bit odd, in hindsight I do wish I had bought a few more! Typical

I like to wear vinyl gloves and apply fake tan with my hands rather than a mitt or sponge, just a personal preference as it cuts out the middle man which I think wastes product and makes it all a bit more awkward.

This is colourless which initially always panics me, purely because it makes it more difficult to see where and how much you have applied, but as the “foam” is more of a water consistency I just make sure the whole arm/ leg/ chest area is glistening wet and I know I’m cooking on gas

It does dry super quick but without feeling tight or drying to the skin, smell is minimal and a little goes a long way. Colour develops over a few hours.

This is a before pic, taken 2.20pm

And just before I went to bed that night, approx 9 hours later….

Even at the full price I will definitely be re-purchasing this, I think it gives a fab even colour for half the cost of the likes of St Tropez & He-Shi, both of which I love but are much messier applications for me… think mud wrestler…..

Why don’t you give it a try xox

Did you know that Boots is repackaging their 17 range?
Well it is, and in the interim all 17 products are Buy One Get One Free, even if you use your Boots points to buy (like I did gratis rocks)

Its quite a young brand and I rarely purchase from it myself these days but I do like their Colour Corrector Cream. One for me, one for my kit

I like this one because its relatively runny in form and easier to blend than many of the corrector sticks. I use it a lot at the moment, due to being stupid and using sun beds in the run up to my wedding last year. Doh!
Tanning has totally messed with the pigmentation on my face and I have a lot of redness and blotchiness to conceal. My own fault but I won’t make that mistake again. Fake tan FTW! xox

P.S Hope you all had a fab New Years, I did end up doing a bit of drunken dancing around my living room but luckily didn’t suffer for it the next day.

This is a nice look if you like your safe browns but fancy trying something a bit more daring. I have used 3 different shadows on the lid & crease, sable which is a beautiful shimmer brown with undertones of plum and bronze, cranberry and a soft matt brown. The first picture shows the colour under flash, the one under that is taken without flash, you can see the rose tone better.

Its very dull here today though and hard to get great lighting. Its good to bear in mind though that when you wear eyeshadow, blush, lipgloss etc, depending on what lighting you are under you will get a different effect. That is why I am quite fond of a veluxe pearl or lustre finish, you get a number of different tones and effects from one shadow dependent on surroundings. If you do like these finishes though remember to always balance it out with matt eyeshadow somewhere in the mix

The secret to this is Blend Blend & Blend especially if you are fair skinned like myself. These colours will work effortlessly on medium to dark skin types but for us pale and interestings you will need to keep a lighter hand to avoid looking like you just have sore eyes!! Pinky bronze is hard to wear but so worth getting right as it makes brown/ green eyes pop beautifully.

I used a black kohl eyeliner pencil and completely lined my eyes, upper & lower including the water line. Flick/ tick is optional but instantly sexes the look up. Finish with 2 coats of black mascara.

If I was wearing this out for an occassion I would definitely make sure I have a fake tan done and bronze up my cheekbones with some MSF, but you get the idea. Have fun with your eye make-up, experiment

(if you can’t pose on your own blog, where can you, eh?!!)

Eyes

• MAC Paint Pot in Painterly (eye base)
• MAC Eyeshadow in Sable (main eyelid)
• MAC Eyeshadow in Cranberry (crease & outer corner)
• MAC Eyeshadow in Soft Brown (crease and lid to blend harsh lines)
• Urban Decay 24/7 Eyeliner in Zero (upper lashline, lower & water line)
• L’Oreal Double Extension Mascara Carbon Black

Face

• Revlon Colorstay Foundation in Sand Beige
• Barbara Daly @ Tesco Concealer in Medium
• NARS Blush in Deep Throat

Lips

• Benefit Color Plump in Love Ya
• Bobbi Brown Lipgloss in Nude