Glow-Getter

Its that time of the week again “tan time”. More specifically “fake tan time”. Joy.

This generally involves:

• Exfoliating (like the packaging says) to the point where I look like I’ve suffered one massive chinese burn
• Brain ache as I debate the pros and cons of all my tan products and try to pick a winner
• Latex gloves to apply (which itch and BURN)
• Twister style contortions to apply evenly everywhere
• Adding yet more tan stains to our towels
• Strange weird palm only hand washing

I hate it. I hate the process. I hate the smell. I hate the texture, and I hate that I wasn’t born a beautiful bronzed goddess. It’s simply not fair.

“Embrace your paleness” friends and family tell me.
So I do that, only to have those same people ask “Are you feeling ok?”, “You look a bit peaky”, “Where you out on the sauce last night”….. it’s endless. Basically I do not suit the natural colour of my own skin.

I recognise that there are those lovely English Rose pale people. The milky skinned Ann Hathaway’s among us, complete with perfect skin tone and bruise free legs and arms. Not a varicose vein in site! Cows

So I do what all us ill looking paleys do and buy lots of fake tan products, always with the hope and belief that this next one really will look “natural” and be a breeze to apply. If only that were true. I dread to think what money I waste on this alone each year.

This is my current stash.

And I do mean current, I literally binned another 5-7 bottles of stuff last week.
I actively use all of these, so I’ll give you a run down of the pro’s and con’s for both. Believe me, they ALL have cons!

L’Oreal Sublime Bronze Dry Mist Body & Face

Pros – Superb spray design. Full 360 capability. Dries quickly. One application gives a strong colour but my husband says it borders on jaundice….

Cons – Need to be in a well ventilated room as catches the throat, open windows and nakedness *brrr*, absolutely impossible to get perfect around the hands. Does not react well with moisturiser.

Dove Summer Glow Face & Body

Pro’s – Cheap as chips. Smells great, citrussy and fresh. Big bottle, great value for money. The facial tanner is particularly good in colour.

Con’s – Takes yonks to build up any good level of tan on the body and once you do its time to exfoliate. Greasy as hell.

No7′s Self Tan Range

Pro’s – All give a nice colour

Con’s – The foam smells unholy (but not quite as bad as Piz Buin)

He-Shi

Pro’s – Instantly tans, so is great for unplanned nights out. You can be brown at the drop of a hat. Gives a deep tan without any nasty fake tan smell. Practically odourless. You can see where you are applying it!

Con’s – Expensive. Must be kept away from water for FIVE hours after application. If it rains on you in that window of time you’ll look like a new breed of dalmation. It’s messy and requires a mitt, you need to work quickly and evenly.

St Tropez Everyday Face & Body

Pro’s – Not too pricey. Big tubes, good value for money. Smells quite nice. Gives a nice colour.

Con’s – Greasy and the fat squeezy tube is uncomfortable to work with. Stains badly around the wrists and hands. Takes too long to build a decent colour. Wears off unevenly.

St Tropez Auto Bronzant Lotion

Pro’s – Gives the best golden tan. Get a lot of product in the bottle. Easy operation pump. Colour lasts almost 1 week.

Con’s – Very pricey. Messy once applied, can only be done before bed IMO, otherwise you’ll have to go about looking like a mud wrestler. Stains bed sheets and pjs.

Rimmel Sun Shimmer Instant Tan

Pro’s – Super cheap and frequently on 3 for 2 offers. You can see where you are applying it. Good for short notice events/ nights out as gives instant colour. Mistakes easily rectified as it washes off immediately. Has a beautiful soft shimmer built in that looks fab and healthy.

Con’s – If it rains on you, this baby is gonna run, literally all down your legs/ arms/ face. You’ll look like one hot mess. Messy to apply, you’ll need a sponge or gloves. It will stain your dress/ clothes so you need to be very very careful its dry before dressing.

I truly believe that there isn’t a foolproof fake tan out there. Especially not in the “apply at home” range. Throughout the years I have significantly improved at applying fake tan, with St Tropez Lotion and I definitely getting on the best for an all over body tan. I also love their Spray version but I’m all out of that at present and using the rest of these up.

Face wise it would be the Dove Summer Glow one in Medium to Dark, I’ve been using this for months now and although my face would normally react to facial tanners it has no problems with this one.

I’ll always reach for my Sun Shimmer though, its just far too handy and I love the sparkle that comes with it. Ok, so its not really any good the 3/4 of the year that it rains here in Northern Ireland, but in the summer months its a staple tan product for me.

If you hold the key to the “Holy Grail” Self Tanner please be kind enough to share below

xox

Tagged as: Dove Summer Glow, Facial Tanners, fake tan, He-Shi, L'Oreal Sublime, no7, Rimmel, Self Tanners, St Tropez, Sun Shimmer